- now listening to 'Joshi Basket bu ~ Asaren Atta Hi no Kamigata' by Berryz Koubou -
Ar...tis been a while since I last updated me bloggy. Tis currently now a little pass 1am in the morning and in the midst of multitasking (typing this entry while handling bout 2 or 3 forums at a go XD).
Hmmm...
Many things have happened as of late, some interesting, some hmmm...and some annoying in a blatant way.
Well, college has actually been quite a burden. Strange how one is kept really busy even with lessened subs. Oh well.
But I guess I learned something, even though as always at the last minute, bout certain things.
Have you ever been in a situation where sometimes you placed your loyalty in something you believe is worth following? Only to find out it was a choice that brings you nothing but a whole lotta bad mojo?
- now listening to 'From The Inside' by Linkin Park -
Well, I sorta walked down that path again. Tis scary how these paths always seem to be as hidden as your best kept secret. How you don't realise it until the very last minute.
Well, I had the opportunity to see a person in action. Two to be exact. One a sorta butt kisser type person and the other a blind floating person that has little to no sense of direction in choices and personality. Where to begin?
Tis amazing sometimes the closer you are to someone you are given the front-row-seat opportunity to see some people in action. I had such good seats at seeing such a person. Tis amazing how that person can smile at you and talk to you just so that person can get a favour from you.
From something as minor to getting a ride to something as major as manipulation, tis amazing how one can blatantly do it. Perhaps tis in that person's nature cos sometimes I think this person doesn't even know his/her action. But then again, perhaps it was intentional.
- now listening to 'Kiss From A Rose' by Seal -
Tis been a while since I heard this song. Neways...
When you are of no use to such a person you are literally discarded. Not to mention this person actually says it in your face.
Sure, you know he/she is joking but when you consider his/her words and notice the actions following the speech, you realise that those said words have much more truth than you could imagine.
I've felt used and manipulated but I guess I was just nice enough to keep it to myself. But I guess after a certain incident that person threw away my niceness. Sorta refreshing and a good dose of awakening. I somehow actually felt more freedom as I started to initiate my plan, to step away from such a person.
Well, you're a power hungry person. I'm not giving you the luxury of gaining power over me.
But I pity your victim. Which brings me to the second archetype, the blind floating person that has little to no sense of direction in choices and personality.
Well, this person for one has very little to no respect towards me. Well, tis normal I guess since I'm not one to be such a butt kisser or manipulator but a truthful and perhaps blunt in a majority of times kinda person.
- now listening to 'Barbarian' by Dagda -
Strange how some songs take the right words out of your mouth? Well, I would say this blind floating person is quite barbaric. Well he is rather. Kinda short on the manners and sometimes I must say intelligence.
The lamest of comments and worse of all, when couple with a manipulator persona, makes for the best combination of master and slave.
I'm thinking scrawny scrooge type person with a big burly tick ridden dog on a spike leash. How's that for imagery?
It sometimes amazes me how this blind floater is so rude and disrespectful to me but so sweet talking to the manipulator cos the manipulator pulls the right strings. I sometimes wonder am I the only one who can see this?
- now listening to 'Christmas Pittari Shitai' by Ogawa Makoto, Koharu Kusumi and Yurina Kumai from H!P Wonderful Hearts Concert OST -
I'm like thinking, erm, silly floater, you do know the manipulator's playing you around to get favours from you?
It can even be seen in some other aspects. So so so much blatant that tis nauseating.
I'd say more, but I don't wanna give away identities now do I? A erm, secrecy must be kept you know.
But annoying it is. Oh well. Neways, events have indeed opened my eyes. I'm sorta feeling a sense of freedom. Tis strange how there was a certain amount of dependancy but once you stepped out of the shadows you feel so much freedom. Sure, there're difficulties handling the new situation. But I believe I can manage.
I wanna start anew again. I'm always on the lookout for a fresh start. Never ending. Each start a new adventure and lesson learned. A turn on the crossroad, a new path, and my back turned to a dirty road left behind.
I find things that truly mean to me and I cherish em more. I mean, I do cherish them before such turn of events but now as I take a new path I cherish them even more. And I think I'm starting to learn to steer away from certain things that can prove destructive to me. I need to really step out of the darkness. Don't worry, it ain't drugs or smoking or anything bad. Just a bad habit in need of squelching and ridding.
- now listening to 'Lose One's Illusions' from Star Ocean OST and 'Love Machine' by Morning Musume -
Gawd, tis really amazing how my music reads me. The name says it all. To step away from the mirages that will keep me rooted and move on to find the oasis.
I still remember how that manipulator bugs me to do things that are beneficial only to him/herself. How such a person is the embodiment of selfishness and a symbol of disregard for the welfare of others. I remembered so many words that person said that brought a feeling of disgust to my gut.
What goes around come around my man. Just you wait. I await your punishment. I'm not one to be mean but on several occasions, current events making it all the more comment, I do wish to just look down on you and gloat and your suffering.
- now listening to 'Ambient Wonder' from HALO OST and 'Faint' by Linkin Park -
There's just so much suffering you deserve. And that floater, I pity you for not being able to wake up and have a personality of your own and find a right direction. Well, I won't say I'm a certain path myself but at least I do ask questions and hope to find it and am always on the lookout. You just erm...stay a stone where you are...sadly...
Well, that aside.
Lately, I've been given the opportunity to meet up with a Japanese girl of 18 years of age. Tis actually rather refreshing and interesting. Cos as you can see, I've 'grown up' on the cliche of Japanese girls, blinded by the media. This girl was very different. She was quiet and composed and giving many wrong impressions. You can't read her mind and figure out her true personality and she's no talker. Well, extremely quiet to a point you'd think she had no use of a mouth.
I always had this impression that Japanese girls were of a certain archetype range : genki, kakkui, scary, shy, reserved. That sorta cliche's. Teaches you that you can't trust the media.
It was scary meeting this particular Japanese girl cos she's sorta like the local girl in my town. Just that she speaks Japanese, is more reserved and sure as hell pretty. =3
But that's upon one look on the outside. Look closely and you can see that she is a hard book to open and decipher. You don't know what's on her mind but she is wise and has several cogs working in there head of hers.
- now listening to 'Dudu Dudu' by Tarkan and 'Hero Overture' from Hero OST -
Btw, how rude of me. Bad intros. Her name's Hiiko and I have to say her name's as pretty as she is. Sighs...
You wouldn't believe the amount of guys trying to talk to her. XD
Well, I'm just playing my cool, putting my philosophy of know the person first. Had too many experiences with wrong personality archetypes breaking my heart.
But as I said, refreshing indeed. A new leaf from the tree of knowledge. I have to thank her when I get the chance. She enlightened me more at how close we can be in terms of personalities even though we are separated by the vast sea. Tis strange indeed how familiar she can be. She really is at moments like the local girl.
- now listening to 'Cloud Number Nine' by Brian Adams and 'Himawari' by Magna Canta -
Well, also I've been meeting up with a fren to have an exchange of media. Lol.
Thanks for the H!P files. X3 arigato ne. Sorry if I couldn't burn any. I'll try getting Airi and my daughter's vid up for ye. XD
Okay...a lil steer of the road for a while...
MAI IS SO CUTE!!! KYAAA!!!! XD XD XD
Ha ha, to the person who exchanges H!P stuff with me, you know who I'm talking about. I wanna be with my daughter. T^T
*is on a strong urge to pamper Mai so much*
Well, speaking of H!P I was on a H!P outting just recently. Tis in this outting that another example of the ever interesting dual personality in someone can be seen. Tis amazing how a person is different in real life as compared to when he/she is online. It just is so different tis like two sides of a coin.
The people I was out with, according to me fren who shared H!P media with me, were supposed to be really noisy and such. But meeting them up in person I had quite a shock. They were really quiet. Well, perhaps tis cos tis the first time we met. But oh well, I was just being myself even for first times. So I was sorta the noisiest person there. XD
I realised I love to speak my mind. I can't bear not to say something. There's always feedback coming from me and if tis a topic I do not know of, then my curiosity takes over and questions pop out instead.
Sorta always on a constant search for knowledge and sharing ideas as well. I don't force it down ppl's throat though like some who I know that do. Quite annoying actually that one. I just speak my mind, say out what pop in my head, whether people wanna take not tis up to them. But I do appreciate a good discussion. =3
- now listening to 'Cruising Together' by Gwyneth Paltrow and Huey Lewis -
Hmmm...
College, life...oh yes.
Visiting Berryz Koubou and H!P forums. A sorta daily practice.
And of course, Waracchaou yo Boyfriend, the Gawd-sent Berryz Koubou 11th Single. Watching the PV brings a melter to the heart. Always gets to me. Gah... X_x
Watched it just now and melted. Of course putting Semi on did the same thing as well. I just sank to my butt at the sight of Risako and clawed at the door when Chinami came up. Lol.
But Waracchaou, definite heart melter for the cute lover. Gawd they are so cute.
KYYYYAAAA!!!!! XD
Apparently my H!P media fren says I can get away with KYA and NYA and any fangirl sounds. XD ha ha ha. That's good I think... ^^"
Well neways, my entry ends here for now. May all have happiness and a clear path in life. And definitely steer clear of manipulators and floaters who bring you down.
