"Trust, loyalty, tolerance, acceptance, patience, fairness and equal say. The many important factors of being a team." - Eug -

Konichiwa mina san! Today was quite a day, for me, Beano and Jimmy went to see S.W.A.T.. Good movie it was.

Woke up late (cos overslept!)(;P) and quickly rushed to Pyramid. The S.W.A.T. tickets that I had (courtesy of Kok Ming)(thanks Mr. Kok) were free-seating tickets. That meant first come, first get good seats sorta situation. Thank goodness managed to get good middle seats.

Beano came late, causing me to miss some few minutes of the action. BEANO!!! GRR!!!

Anyways, the movie was great. Michelle Rodrigues was really really spunky and not bad looking. Go Michelle! And Samuel L. Jackson was just plain awesome an actor. From the serious Mace Windu of Star Wars to the quirky Hondo of S.W.A.T. with his remarks that puts a smile on all the viewers faces. Sam rocks!

After the movie played some Pump while waiting for Rampus to arrive. Sung changed hairstyle. I was like "Hmmm, he looks familiar. Could it be? Sung? Sung! What happened to your hair?! Whoa!!!" Yep, nearly couldn't recognise him. Anyways, met Micheal there also who played a game before going ice skating.

When Rampus arrived went to eat lunch. Talked about the Alien hierarchy while eating. Imagine lunch at 3! Talk about how time flies when you're playing Pump.

Anyways, after lunch went to Sunny's. Played Deathrow and me, Sunny and Rampus ended up moaning and groaning as we lost to the final team. No!!! After Deathrow played Guilty Gear X2 aka GGX-Square (as I like to call it). My Faust has improved. Yes!!! I also realise that against swift opponents, the ever-knowledge-seeker and dancing-fighter Anji Mito isn't very good a character to use. Sob...he's one of my fave characters (since Rampus, Ken Woo and Beano say Anji is like me). Oh well, you win some you lose some.

Also, found my third trump-card! Millia Rage! She rock too. If only she was as cute as May or Bridget. Sigh.

Well, after the game rushed to send Rampus home before going to dinner. Then came back and played GGX2 story mode. When using Testament, get aspirins ready for the battle with Johnny. He becomes a real pain in the ass. The unfairness of one-strike-deaths caused me to scream "NO WAY! THAT'S CRAP MAN!". But finally managed to defeat him (after about say 6 to 7 deaths) thanks to me bro. Phew!

Well, this is where me entry ends for today. Ja ne!

"Anger is probably one of the worst parasites a human being is born with. It feeds on emotion and causes a tiny destruction within the crevices of your heart and soul. You get hurt from the inside and if uncontrolled it can also lead to injury from the outside as a result from physical fights. Imagine, an enemy from within." - Eug -

Konichiwa mina san! Today, a cloud hangs over my head. Well, during the afternoon that is.

It all started while I was having brunch. I got screwed by me dad for a small little joke I made which caused no harm at all. Geez, talk about the starter of all problems. We had an argument (started by dad himself) which really wasn't needed at all. Stupid is all I can say.

Sigh. Anyways, left the restaurant as soon as I finished me meal so I didn't need to continue staring at dad's face. Headed towards Pyramid to meet Jimmy. Listened to loud music on the way and screamed part of my lungs out in the process.

The parking at Pyramid was packed way pass the brim which didn't contribute at all to making me feel any better. In the end, had to park at the parking lot just behind campus and make my way to the rendezvous area, the Pump machine!

Met Jimmy and Beano there. They were hanging at Rocco Cafe (or was it Rococco?) eating some fries. I joined them, admiring a girl in the ice skating ring. She was REALLY cute. My jaw was hanging and I was practically going ga ga. Sigh...

"I stared at those cute eyes that looked back at me. The smile sent a warm feeling through my skin, making its way into my soul that searched for an angel. An angel without wings, one who walked among mortals. An angel by appearance, but was she an angel by heart? I didn't know and I couldn't think straight. My mind was blinded by her. As a friend once told me in a language so plain and simple...Eug be a sucker for cute girls." - Eug -

Sigh. Anyways, when we were done eating the fries we headed to play Pump. Ah, the Pump machine, my anger therapy machine. We met two other players there, one of whom was a pro. He was awesome man! Anyways, played some games, learned some styles for Funky Tonight's opening and improved on me 7 stand. When all was done, I was fine was again. Ah...the Pump effect. A mystery, and one that will remain an enigma until the end of my time.

Also, met Gerek there. After the game we left. I dropped Gerek at Sunny's before heading home. At home, I had a talk with someone who would listen to my problems. Thank goodness, for I felt much relief that someone else also understood the madness going on in my mind thanks to me dad.

Went out to dinner, feeling rather uneasy at staring at dad's face. When dinner was over went to send me bro to Atria before coming home. Played Jedi Academy. I love the game! Must try dual sabers (aka Amidala's Anakin's sabers) after I finish me current game! I'm currently using double-blade saber (aka Darth Maul's saber). Just discovered some cool moves and when I say cool I mean cool. I should paint my face red and black and name meself Darth Eug or something. ;P

Well, anyways me entry ends here. Me anger is now settled thanks to Pump. Thanks to Andamiro for creating Pump man! Well, ja ne!

"Knowledge is a powerful tool, as powerful as words itself. It is used to spin the world in any direction. It is like Yin and Yang. There's positive knowledge and there's negative knowledge. The knowledge to create and the knowledge to destroy. Seek the positive. Seek the knowledge to create. Create what is positive from learning within the positivity of positive knowledge and avoid the negativity of negative knowledge that leads to destruction." - Eug -

Konichiwa mina san! This entry is actually yesterday's entry (14 / 05 / 2003) since I couldn't gain excess to me com.

Well, woke up late (as usual...). After having some brunch went to Pyramid where I met Beano. We had our games of Pump and I must admit, we both are getting better. Beano has increased his stamina. Congrats! Now there's more carbohydrates within the new and improved Bean! I think my 7 stand is improving to a much higher level (I asked Beano myself for his opinion). Yes! Oh! The beauty of the 7 stand... *tears of joy streaming down my cheeks*

Anyways, after the game went to walk around for a break. Went to IT Walk (wonder if that's the correct name?) and immediately I sensed the vibe, the disturbance, a positive disturbance in the Force.

I leapt! My midi-chlorians (wonder if it's spelled correctly)(if not, gomen!) soared to levels like those of Amidala's Anakin!

It was here! Jedi Knight : Jedi Academy finally arrived! I bought straight away!

After that played Pump again before going back. The jam in the LDP really sucked for it sapped me of my excited Force powers. But! Nevertheless I reached home, installed the game and played away!

So sad that I can't choose the kind of lightsaber yet, just the colour of its blade. Oh well, probably I'll be able to do that later. Can't wait! Can't wait! On the other hand, you can choose how your character will look like based on a few appearance options which is actually kind of cool. I can't seem to find the multiplayer option though. Hopefully there is one.

Also, Happy Birthday to Xin! He! He! May you have happiness always!

Ah, for now my entry ends here. I shall now continue my tireless quest to obtain Jedi Masterhood! Ja ne! And may the Force be with you!

"What was it that her sister did that made Evan get close to her? Why did Evan cared so much for her? Was it the things she had done for him? A million questions swirled in her head but not one answer surfaced." - taken from a story written by Eug -

Konichiwa mina san! Life goes on in the timeline of rest and relaxation that we all learn to know as the holidays. Yesterday's entry could not make it on the desired deadline due to the fact that me dad was using the PC. So it has been postponed to today.

Sigh. Anyways, nothing much happened yesterday anyhow. Went out to Sunny's place for our usual session of gaming. Later in the evening went out with my old friends. Also, did prayers for it was the Hungry Ghost month. As I stared at the flames that consumed the offering-papers many thoughts ran through my mind.

"As I stared into the dancing flames I recalled the many years before where I used to stand right here together with a missing person. I stared at the space where she would've been before moving to my father. Was he thinking the same thing? I didn't know but like me too, he seemed to be deep in thought. All of us were silent but within my mind I heard voices of the past speak to me. I felt the emptiness within my heart, an emptiness that pushed me to call angels so I can be within their warm embrace. My heart shed tears, felt the stab of pain, a pain that no one else knew except me and all divine beings including God." - Eug -

Sigh. Life, oh life.

Anyways!

Now, moving onto today. Today, supposed to wake up early to finish me Fine Art painting but instead overslept (as usual), resulting in a rush-rush situation and a screwing from me dad. The screwing had such a huge impact on me. It caused heat to swell within me and anger to surge through my veins, thus turning me into a demon on the road. Probably a couple of drivers were staring at me as I weaved in and out of traffic.

Anyways, managed to hand in my Fine Art assignment along with my other pencil sketches. After that, played a game of Pump. When I was done I was fine once again. Truly, Pump has such an effect. I then had kebab for lunch before playing Drum Mania and Pump (yes. Again.) Also, met some of my other classmates there who were ice-skating. Karasu! You're a good skater man!

He he. Today was a day I became a celebrity for a teensie itty-bitty while. A tourist (guessing by the fact that she was a European woman, I think) asked me whether she could take a pic of me doing my 7 stand! Oh yeah! Did the 7 stand and saw the flash of the camera fill my view. Ah! The coolness of the 7 stand!

After that went to Beano's place and I immediately fell in love with his home. His home had a beautiful altar where statues of Tibetan Buddhist deities were placed. And his home was filled with the heavenly scent of burning incense. It was like love at first sight and smell! Also met his mom who like my Godmother was a Tibetan Buddhist. We talked (with the help of Beano's translations cos my Chinese was as bad as can be) and I told myself that I MUST bring my Godmom to meet her! They are sure to get along.

"A calming effect sweeps me off my feet. I was intoxicated, floating within the recesses of my relaxed mind. My senses were carressed by that scent, that heavenly scent. I think that all angels have that scent, a scent that made you feel...nice..." - Eug (state of mind upon entering Beano's house) -

Anyways, she gave me a rosary bracelet which was not only beautiful by sight, but by scent as well. The bracelet smelled of incense. Oh, the holiness of the smell, the divinity of it. I love the smell as I love my mother, angels and my future special someone.

We (me, Rampus, Ken Woo and Beano) played Guilty Gear X2 and watched some Pump videos. Watching the videos, we saw one where a little kid was playing. We were like "Whoa! That's good! No! It's awesome! Proof that miracles do exist in this world!".

After that gaming session sent me friends home. I then went home, ate my dinner and went out to Atria to search for my desired target. Jedi Knight : Jedi Academy wasn't out yet! No! Argh! The agony of waiting! Frustration yet again.

Anyways, came home and plopped in front of the com to update me bloggie. By the way, my results (I retook it and answered most truthfully this time) for the Kingdom Hearts quiz.






Take the Kingdom Hearts personality quiz, and visit Castle Diqueria.

Well, my entry ends here. Ja ne!

"The longer you've held on to something, the more precious that thing will be. It is with this grip on that object, nurtured by time that a bond is created. This bond is called attachment." - Eug -

Konichiwa mina san! Today was pretty much the same as any other day during the holidays. Waking up late, having brunch instead of breakfast and lunch and of course, knocking myself silly with entertainment.

Went to Sunny's to play vid games with me bro. Beano and Joseph were there as well. Played from 3 until round 6 to 7. After that went out for dinner then came back.

Meanwhile, while we were at Sunny's, dad and me sis went to Mid Valley instead. Dad lost his handphone (ouch! It was a good phone!) and had to get a new one. Luckily managed to get hold of Maxis and deactivate the number. Sigh...careless as always. He got the same phone that he lost but this particular model had a built in camera.

Anyways, today the air was filled with hype of Kingdom Hearts. I am breathing the same air. Ever since I saw the Kingdom Hearts : Final Mix I became jumpy. It was a cliff-hanger situation. I now definitely have to play Kingdom Hearts 2. The story unfolds in that game. Also, I wanna see my Kairi again! I love her! She's so cute!!!!

Sigh...Beano was right. I am a guy who's a sucker for cute girls.

Also, thank goodness I managed to find my very important letter. *kisses the letter* *holds the letter as well, wanting to hug it but can't for fear it might be crumpled in the process*

Just watched an episode of Steven Spielberg's Taken. Whoa! It was really interesting. The climax approaches. Hopefully won't miss the next episode.

Anyways, that's all for today. Ja ne!

"Back in the condominium he placed her on his bed and cleaned her with a wet cloth. As he cleaned her face he realised that she looked a lot like the angel that had visited him in the hospital ward." - taken from a story written by Eug -

Konichiwa mina san! Today is a very good day...for me car. He he.

Woke up today at near 11 (all hail the holidays!). Got myself ready for the day and used the com for a while. Took the test in Karasu's site. You can check my character in the blog entry below this one. I'm so proud! ^_^

I then went to Sunway to pay the deposit to ensure a place for me in the next term. Went there with me bro. Then ate lunch at Kim Gary. He loved the cheese rice (told him so!).

After that went to Pump! Met Beano along the way. Now...take a deep breath...BEANO!!!! You still owe me one song!!! Breath out...

Anyways, played a game of Pump. Met several pros there (aka Chee Meng, Sung and June). I was so frustrated for I had to wait very very very long for them to finish. Even me bro was getting really restless himself. But finally I got my turn.

Sigh. What can I say? Chee Meng was going high today. He was spending money like water flowing out of the tap.

After the Pump session went to send me car to wash. Before...dusty car. After...showcase-worthy car. Great car washers they are!

I then went to Sunny's to get Sonic Advance 2 for the GBA I borrowed. Me bro loved it a lot. The trip continued on to Atria where my bro got 2 new games for the PS2. KEN WOO! Star Wars Jedi Knight : Jedi Academy isn't out yet!!!!

Note : the chart of excitement shows a very steep downhill from the top point that reached total exhiliration, anxiety and exitement.

"The Jedi within me is yet to unwrap itself from within the foetus of my soul. I shall wait, although my impatience and excitement screams like a madman. My blade shall hiss to life soon. Darth Maul failed. So did Amidala's Anakin. But I shall not!" - Eug, talking to the many apparitions of Jedis past (aka Qui Gon, Yoda, Obi Wan, Plo Koon, Adi Galia and etc.) -

He he. Came home then went out to eat dinner. Not bad meal. Then came back, sat back, hacked into the Matrix via the keyboard of my com and started entering codes of the blog program. Neo, I shall assist you in the extermination of the next threat after Agent Smith and Thomson. Agent Beano must not go on jeopardising our missions! The expansion of the Beanoverse.exe and Evilbean.exe program must halt.

He he. Anyways, me entry ends here for today. Ja ne!

Program end...
Logging out of the Matrix...

Welcome to the real world Eug. Your lightsabers are nearing completion. The simultaneous assembly of the double and single blade lightsabers are going smoothly as planned. Soon we shall strike the Evilbean Inc.. No more Jedis must be lost.

Yes. I agree. May the Force be with us. Farewell for now. ;)

"The leader is the one with the most power, able to control entire squads of men. He is also the one with the most weakness, for every fate of his men lies on his shoulder. It is a huge burden to carry." - Eug -

My character!


You are MakubeX! You are nothing short of a genius,
and yet, once someone betrays you, it takes
more than a little beating to gain back your
loyalty and trust. You fight for what you
believe in, even if it leads you down a dark
path, but you'd do anything for those who are
like you, and stuck in a situation they cannot
change for the better. You have the potential
for being a great leader, as long as you don't
let the power trip get to your head.


Get Backers Personality Quiz
brought to you by Quizilla

Whoa! I can't believe I'm a cool character! ^_^ Woo-hoo!

Must get Get Backers!

P.S. : Today's entry is going to be really long because it combines both today's and yesterdays's entry. Didn't manage to send in yesterday's entry because darn Streamyx failed on me. Anyways, happy reading! :)

Starting with yesterday's entry.

"He would walk down the corridor, staring at the floor as he went, sometimes bumping into walls." - taken from story written by Eug -

Konichiwa mina san! Today (7/8/2003) was a really bummer of a day, the bummerness centralised around Design class and Pump It Up! session.

Today had a meeting in the morning. Last minute discussions for the Design presentation that was to come. Reached the meeting destination (Pyramid) at 10 (which was quite late) cos I slept at 4 this morning searching for information about the product that was supposed to be featured in me Design presentation.

Came, discussed sum stuff, bought sum stuff and made some more final changes to the design of my product. Played a game of Pump along the way. I sorta sucked man. My Funky was degraded. No!!!! That's my song!

And if that weren't crappy enough, the presentation came (which was at 2 pm onwards). Everyone's presentation was good. I guess my team was the worst. All because our product was missing several important stuff that people cannot distinguish the character on it! Argh! Anyways, my team was the 3rd last team to present.

The 2nd last team (aka Kok Ming's team) was really good. I really loved their wrapping design and their performance. As they did their presentation I analysed some of the many errors of my team. And lemme tell you, it was a whole long list. After the presentations had one more final meeting to discuss the problems. We must not repeat them again!

Anyways, it was really bad also for the last team because even though their presentation products were really really good, 6 out of the 7 people came late. Design lecturer transformed into the magical tiger dragon and wrecked havoc upon them. Ouch. Sigh, and lecturer sent out letters. Some of my classmates were called regarding their high-percentage-to-fail situation. Talk about a bummer-ish day.

And to add icing to the cake went to play Pump after the Design class and yet again my Funky was degraded!!!!!!!! Argh!!!!!!!

By the way, Mr. Kok ( >P ) will be happy to know that the Guitar Freaks machine is working again. I can see his fingers twitching already. Also, met our Pump pro friend.

After sending my friends home came back to type today’s entry. Watched Star Wards Jedi Knight : Jedi Academy trailer. The game rocks man!!!!!!!! Must get it!!!!!!!! Also, StarCraft Ghost rocks too!!!!!!!!! Talk about a lot of awesome games!!!!!!!!! I’m jumping already. At least this takes the bummer blues away.

On the period of yesterday after I sent my blog entry : Me bro bought the game Aliens VS Predator Extinction for the PS2. Finally, a chance for me to study the hierarchy of the Alien and Predator race.

Anyways, me blog ends here. Ja ne mina san!

And now today's entry.

"The both of them hugged each other. It was the greatest feeling they had ever felt. To him that moment felt like heaven. For her it was like the moment when she was in her mother’s arms. She felt warm and secured." - taken from story written by Eug -

Konichiwa mina san! Today marks the end of the 2nd term and the starting of the holiday! Thanks goodness for me! I need to catch up on my sleep. But there were moments of emptiness as I saw fellow classmates leave. He he. Happens all the time I guess.

Anyways, came to class 1 hour late cos I had stuff to do. Along the lesson me and a few classmates had a talk on old Jap anime and series. Made some funny comments that resulted in laughter.

Kok Ming related his story about running over a kitten. Well, my friend. Tis hard when you take a living being's life but try to look at it in this perspective. Cheer up! Tis alright. No one's blaming you.

"Whatever happens happens for a reason. It was the cat's karma to be run over by you. You are not to be blamed at all. Don't feel bad. It's the cycle of life. Where there's life there's death. Life and death are in perfect harmony. And even though you don't like it, don't keep it in your heart. It's not your fault. It's not as if you want this to happen anyways. Cheer up! Take it as an experience." - Eug -

"Look at it as if God wanted you to His job." - Ken Chan -

Anyways, when class ended we all said our "Goodbye!" and "Happy Holidays!". Then me, Beano, Ken Woo, Rampus and a friend of Sunny's went to Kota Raya in KL. Now, tis here that I must start screaming (but I won't).

Kota Raya is so near to the Pasar Seni LRT station! If I knew it I wouldn't have driven there! Sunny! Give us better directions next time!!! Thank goodness me car petrol didn't fail me. And on the trip back Ken, Rampus, Beano and Sunny had to squeeze. This resulted in a lot of "Ouch!", "My leg!" and "Need space!".

Anyways, the trip to Kota Raya was for one reason only. EZ2Dancer! Tis a fun rhythm game. There was a Pump machine too. And it only cost 50 cents to play! The drawback? So little songs that you can practically count with your fingers (maybe some help of your toes as well). All the good songs were gone. There were only few nice ones. And the worse one. The pad was as lousy as can be! They were un-responsive! And you can fail (according to Ken Woo) if you miss 2 steps! Kinda crappy man!

There was Guitar Freaks as well but it was an old version. Meaning lesser song (really really much lesser). And it was super lenient. Pump on the other hand was super strict (imagine training for dancing with a military coach).

Anyways, played some racing games. All in all though, I have to say that the only fun thing to do there is EZ2Dancer. Nothing else.

Left at about 6. Got stuck in the jam...bad cos it pisses me off. I think it pisses everyone off. Sent all me friends home and by the time I reached home it was 9 something.

I now sit, before the electronic box that is the door to infinite possibilities to type out this entry. Oh. And by the way! Congrats to Hsin on her relationship news! May you two be happy!

Thanks to Sunny also for lending me the GBA SP. And I hope Rampus, Ken Woo and Beano better pay me when we meet again! I'm more broke than shattered porcelain.

Anyways, my entry(s) ends here. Ja ne mina san!

"I’m not saying that what you did was wrong. It’s just that you haven’t been giving him enough ‘room to breath’. Everyone needs to be given some space," - Robyn to Cecelia (taken from story written by Eug) -

Konichiwa mina san. Ah, today life's more different. Had a talk with two of me friends yesterday. Well, one was the cause of my anger and the other was another classmate of mine. The anger-causer and I sorta sort things out. Everything seems fine now although it'll be slightly awkward. Well, I guess we can only let time tell.

Phew. The other friend also gave me some advice. Although I have to say personally not all of it can be applied but at least I'm happy there's someone who listened to how I was brought up, which pretty much explained why my attitude may be this way. Hopefully now, there'll be more understanding between me and my friends with this new information.

Life's so hard ain't it? Sigh.

Well, the day today was quite okay. Well, maybe not okay. I'd say good, save for the figures part. We had two sessions of figures. Two sessions!!! Argh! Well, first session was in class. We had a test. I only managed to draw out the four main characters and left out the background characters. What can I say? Guess I still need time to upgrade my standard of speed. I asked me lecturer and he said I'm quite okay and that I can pass. Phew! Can't say much for Sunny though. Leo wasn't happy with his record.

Oh, and speaking of Sunny I've received disturbing news concerning Pump It Up! It seems that the creators of Dance Dance Revolution (DDR) aka Konami had sued both Andamiro (Pump It Up company) and Amuse-World (EZ2DJ and EZ2Dancer company) (wonder if it's spelled correctly) in 2001. This resulted in Amuse-World going backcrupt (then again, who wouldn't with a sue of 12 billion!). Andamiro also got hit but thankfully is still in business so expect further mixes for Pump It Up! to come out. EZ2DJ and EZ2Dancer on the other hand...won't be seeing further mixes. Damn Konami!

Why they sued? Because Konami claimed that Amuse-World and Andamiro copied their design. Yeah, like the speakers and neon-lights can be counted as copying Konami's design. Geez. I mean, Pump is different from DDR. DDR = 4 button pads. Pump = 5 button pads. And EZ2DJ and EZ2Dancer r totally different! Argh!

Pant. Pant. Anyways...never mind. No use thinking about it.

Back to my day. The second session of figures was held in Sunway Lagoon! Yup! That means asking the few of the fellow swimmers there to pose. Or just plain pick a target and try to draw it moving. Not easy I tell you. Managed to get a Middle East woman to pose. Not bad looking I tell you. And her baby daughter is really cute! All the girls were going "Aww!!! So cute!!!" Hontoni kawaii desu!

After the second session went to play Pump! (by the way, played Pump! before going to Lagoon!). Met a pro there who me and my usual gang of Pumpers know. Taught me how to do the 7 stand. And I did it! Yes! Ha ha! I did the breakdancing move that I've always dreamed of doing! But still need more practice though. My timing tak tepat. Ganbatte Eug-kun!

After that sent me friends home then picked me sis from tuition. Came home and practiced the 7 stand a few more times (7th Heaven! 7th Heaven!) then typed this blog out. Spoke a little to me friend in ICQ along the way.

Anyways, me blog ends here. Ja ne mina san! Ma-tay! Arigato Sly-kun / Karasu-kun / Momochi-kun for the advice!

Ne-ways, ja ne!

"A majority of people these days are really good actors. They act for the sake of pleasing ones heart and ears. But none truly cares how you feel. Words are a powerful tool and it is with this tool that they use to cover one's eyes. None of them are for real. Liars!" - Eug (angered) -

Konichiwa mina san. I'm really feeling angry and vexxed right now. It's strange how one's mood can change by the power of words. Well, I'll start from the beggining first.

Today I had a test for my English Communication Skills. It wasn't that hard, although I have to say that the marking system should be revised and the usage of words more wide. English is a rich language and there are so many words that can be used to make a sentence sound from casual to something out of a fairy tale. Well, unfortunately me lecturer decided to use his English of 'narrow' proportions, resulting in a lot of arguable questions.

Anyways, I guess there's nothing much to say since after all he's the one who's marking the paper. And he's also quite an okay lecturer so I didn't want to start a war or something. After class went straight to lunch, followed by Pump It Up!

A friend mentioned something about the 'main' group. It's strange how it feels to be away from the 'main' group. I feel that there's more freedom to do things compared to when I was in the 'main' group. In the 'main' group I felt like I was in a cage where everyone didn't care. They just locked you up and throw away the keys. I was a minority of a voice, a voice so tiny it can be ignored. When I was away from the 'main' group I somehow felt accepted. I could do things that I wanted to do. And I could actually say things where people would turn their heads and listen instead of turn their backs and ignore you. Being left out isn't the easiest things to cope with, not after the incident months back. The emptiness is still within me and even though I don't show it I feel it. That's why my Design lecturer Denise is such a remarkable person. She sees this unlike many other people. I guess it's because we're both alike in some crucial ways.

Anyways, after lunch went for a session of Pump It Up! It was great. Played two games and the best part was that I didn't have to wait long cos there weren't many people. You wouldn't believe how frustrating it is to wait, especially for Pump! I still have to upgrade my standard for "We Are" by Deux. Song rocks but moves are hard.

After that, sent my friends home and then went to my own home. Popped in front of the computer. Now, this is where the anger starts flowing in. Started reading stuff on the Net and I felt the fire start to burn. Yet again the past hit me. I was so furious and I still am right now as I sit here writing this blog. Only a few people know what I'm talking about.

Okay, let me give you a clue. Say you have a friend who decided to do a project with you. That friend tells you all these great things that the both of you are going to do together in such a way that he or she really means it. The next thing you know, that friend forgets about you and does the thing by him or herself without you knowing it. That friend totally forgets what he said to you and does things that only he or she wants to do. Sound familiar? Ring any bells? And worse of all, that friend can tell you things straight in the face, make promises with you in front of other witnesses and yet break them again! As if that friend cared how you felt. Only that friend cared about his or herself. LIAR!

This is where I state that words are powerful tools. Saying promises that are later broken. There's no justice! Hey friend who breaks your word and promises! You ain't done nothing but talk only! Screw you bloody -Censored-! I don't care what people think. I'm already sick and tired of people treating me like dirt and pushing me around and making fun of me and using me. I don't need another LIAR!

Breath in. Breath out. Breath in. Breath out. There's no justice that I can seek. It's already too late. The damage has been done. I'm left to bleed, my willpower withered and soul tattered. There're many more things that I would like to say but if I do, I'd hurt people's feelings. Ka-pish? Pathetic liar.

I've been feeling empty these days. A 'place' where I could go to was no longer there. Tainted by lies and deceit. I thought I could open up whenever I'm in this 'place'. No more. I felt the very same things as what the 'main' group left behind. I felt left out.

"Blood drips from an open wound in my chest. I looked up and winced as my torn wings hurt. I've lost this battle, betrayed by the people I trust the most. But I shall go on. I must go on. Never again, to believe in words of people that just talk...but don't do. I will not, must not fall into the traps of a liar." - Adenol (walking towards the ray of light called Truth And Realisation) -