"The mist is formless and not solid. Yet it has an aura of mystery, hiding many things that the eye may not see." - Eug -

Konichiwa mina san!

These past few days (I think weeks is the appropriate word) has been nothing but worries on work and RO.

Sigh. RO. RO. Tis a madness that one's mind (mine actually) can't seem to comprehend. XD XD XD

Tis fun cos I learned many things and met new friends. The most important thing I've learnt? A majority of Malaysian players love to commit RO crimes aka Kill Stealing, Looting, Saying Foul Languages and Scamming. Sigh. The world today.

Well, work ain't doing much to sooth the already gorgeous gaping wound made by RO. XD XD XD Sigh. Assignments after assignments after assignments. Argh...the horror.

Oh well.

I stare out into open air. I had a dream about my mother two days in a row. Yesterday's dream was probably the saddest. I dreamt of her coming back from the beyond. She said she could only stay until Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday. My heart was torn. I thought she would've come back for good. But a dream is a dream. And what is gone cannot come back. That's how it is to live in the realm of existance. Existance and emptiness do not mix.

Life has been an empty crossroad for me. I've been lost at the many T-Junctions, wondering where to go. I'm carrying a luggage filled with painful memories and empty jars that I call "Pieces Of My Heart". Of course there were stuffz in my pockets like TOA assignments. (--") Like I said, ain't doing much to help me, these assignments.

Sigh.

A huge part of my life is a secret to all but God and me. Maybe my mother and my ancestor can see them. Sigh.

Tis strange. I'm feeling...lost. Uncertainty has planted its seed within the crevices of my empty heart and soul. A plethora of mixed emotions swirl within me.

My mind is as formless as the mist in the morn,
Result of a heart that is cold and torn,
Staring into emptiness, a thing that is gone,
Many thoughts keep coming, wondering beyond.

I let out a sigh as days go by,
No one to know of sadness that lie,
Within my heart that makes my soul cry,
A lost mind, I can only sigh.

What is to become of this empty shell,
A lost entity, a mortal unwell,
A mind of yearning that has greatly fell,
How long will it last, only time can tell.

I sit here and end this poem of sad,
For have run out, the ideas I had,
Will I be the same again, that old lad,
Of a time before things had gone bad.

Tell me the answers to the many questions of existance that I have in my mind. What is the meaning of life when life today has no meaning? What is considered worth living when there's no worth in living?

He he. Dun mind the questions. They just popped into my head. I wrote them down cos I thought they sounded nice. Beautiful sounds that ring in the abyss that is my mind.

Btw, been watching tons of Miyazaki works. Love em a lot! Laputa. Nausicaa. Only Yesterday. Grave/Tombstone Of The Fireflies and etc..

XD XD XD Strange how my mood changes like the tides of the seas or currents of the air. Guess this does prove that I am indeed lost.

More lost than a puppy. I'm now imagining what's like to be in the realm of emptiness. Talk about strange thoughts.

Guess I'm tired. Haven't been sleeping easily. The mind cannot rest when the mind is not at ease. A ship cannot reach its destination when the sea is rough and storms mark the sky.

Somehow I feel all poetic today. Wordplay is the word of the day. The beautiful sounds that words emit, an ecstacy to the ears of my mind.

XD XD XD

Anyways, my entry ends here for today. It seems that the mist in the mind is still playing tricks. But it'll clear up in due time. Ja ne!