- now listening to "Nicchouku ~Geinoujin no Kaiwa~" by Berryz Koubou -

Nothing like a stroll down memory lane. The songs of BK during their much early days. Now they've currently released their what? 13th Single?

Strange title too... "Very Beauty"...

Japanese and their english... -_-"

But tis a good tune, with good vibes, nostalgic tones and beautiful setting.

Neways, tis been a while since an update on this realm of thoughts. How's life?

I smile as I type that line. "How's life?". Tis a line spoken by a very interesting special someone to me. A sort of ice breaker line if you will, but it does nothing but actually bring about more silence as a byproduct of speechlessness.

Well, currently my team is still working on our final project. As of now, the basic modelling stages has been completed. Texturing and rigging as well. Now on to 3D laicar and some additional modelling and texturing.

Kinda behind schedule so we're picking up speed as much as possible. Voice recording has been done too thankfully.

Hopefully we can present sumthing soon.

Currently working on the intro props. Speaking of which gotta get ready my presentation. Hope it doesn't slip my mind. >.<"

- now listening to "Dream Of The Shore" from Chrono Cross OST -

I dream indeed of what path be illuminated to walk upon.

Ever had this feeling where you wanted to achieve something so bad in your lifetime? And when you actually did achieve you realise you do not know what to do next?

I'm currently in the situation right now? Is this called a mid life crisis? I'm not sure actually.

But at the current moment, I'm wondering what to do...

I've sort of achieved what I was looking for. Now wondering instead what to do indeed.

The strange thing is that this mind of mine has been going on a slow movement. It seems that the world around me goes at a strange different rate from what I had experienced before in my life.

Tis as if the clocks have all gone wrong beyond this immediate realm that my body perceives. The clock ticks here for my body but another clock ticks for the car next to me, and another for the workflow, and another for the person walking on the street and etc.

Tis like the flows of time clash and yet through all this chaos, converges to create balance. Stability within instability.

- now listening to "Cherish" by Ai Otsuka -

To cherish the time one has...but yet, time is like the sand, slipping through my very fingers.

It seems like the world is spinning much faster than usual. The day passes by quickly. I wake up and before I know it, night has come and a new day beckons.

Tis scary because down the path upon which I tread I see the entity of uncertaintity, hungry, unrelenting and waiting to consume me.

And time going fast is bringing that entity so much more closer to me. What scares me is how huge this entity is. I can only stare at awe.

They say to penetrate its shield one needs the dagger / sword / spear or whatever offensive weapon of knowledge and confidence.

I hope to gain hold of such an arsenal.

Fickle...my mind screams that as well. My thoughts wonder way too much. I'm afraid I might actually get lost in thought. It scares me sometime.

Tis like the only relief of such is the time my body and soul remains in a moment, a focused moment. Doing something.

Man, I've gotta clear my head of the many things to do. Sheez. Got so many things to do and so little time. >_>" Damn...

Time management...so nice if one does not have to make a sacrifice to do something.

- now listening to "Carrying You" from Castle In The Sky OST -

Sometimes I wonder. There's a saying that maturity is a state where one can see priorities and make the required sacrifices. I wonder though whether is there really a state where sacrifices do not have to be made.

It seems even the abstract has come into play in the cycle of life and death we mortals are doomed to be in.

Sacrifice - think not of the object of sacrifice, but the very idea and concept itself behind the action. All things that live will die. Birth and death are next to each other, separated only by lifespan.

So how is it that a concept, the idea behind an act comes into play. It isn't even living at all, just an intangible idea. And yet it plays in the court of the living. Mingling among the players of living flesh and bone and electrical signals - unknown to us and yet governing us and affecting us.

Oh well. Neways, back to the material world. The realm of ideas is a world not many tread upon. Many can't hold on to things intangible, things that can only be grasped by the hands of imagination and grips of thought and ponderment.

Neways, morning classes are a killer. But oh well, a sensible person leads the class, and she gives the class an open window of 1 hour for student arrivals. She knows of traffic jams (a problem that seems to have increased by tenfold) in the morning. Hurrah for her.

Can't say much for my sis tho. Her world isn't so friendly and dare I say it? Sensible.

A difference between our line of studies indeed.

And the weather. Has God been in quite a wrath of a mood? Cos I swear he's looking down on us with quite the glare.

The sun has shone upon the land which I stand on with heat unbearable these months. God, everything gets toasted alive. You put an egg on the road and it sizzles. Put me in there and I get volatile. Heat isn't my best friend.

Well, speaking of which, I wanna apologise to a certain someone for blowing off over something so small the other day. The weather was hot so I was on wire-trigger mode. Gomene...

On another note, some people still don't learn their lessons. They go off in the illusion that they are correct, that others don't see the fault in them. Well, I don't blame that person. Not when I'm one only victim. Here's a tip though for the not so educated. You once spoke of why people can't take what you say, or don't bother listening to you. Ever considered reflecting back on that? Perhaps then you will realise why people you meet now and are bound to meet react in such a way.

Look into the problem man. Don't live the illusion and turn your head the other way thinking you ain't wrong. I guess I'm being a nice guy pointing out the source of the problem. But oh well, some people can't listen so I can't do much.

The shroud of spoiltness has clouded your judgement and sight I guess.

- now listening to "Lake Derravaragh" by Dagda -

You know, I think back and wonder. Was I really like that as well at one point in time? Damn!

How is it that one walks the path and finally realises to lift the shroud that covers their eyes? How does such an evolution change? How does one finally realise how to fit into the jigsaw puzzle of society? To know where one stands in the social hierarchy?

I can't explain much how such a phenomenon happens. I'm not saying I'm an expert at fitting into the world so snugly like a hand into a glove. But I do notice as I compare myself with socially inept people - of those who do not know where they stand and such - I can only look back and describe the experience as a "snap" moment.

One moment you're a social inept person, wondering how cool it is to be in the 'in-group' or to know how to break the ice naturally or be the center of attention or just speak up with no fear of being looked down upon. And the next, you're a person who looking back can't believe you were once a person who hid in the corner of the social square, hidden by the shadows of the ones in the middle of the square known as the 'center of attention' people.

Of course, there're people way above my current level. So much charisma and confidence they stride like royalty outside the golden bloodline, making heads turn, every word uttered by them a subliminal message and command that enters the head and convinces and produces followers.

Leaders...the ones who look ahead while others look up at them.

Oh well, I guess one just has to sit back and wait for the right time. Destiny and fate, all interlinked with cause and effect and karma, will decide the right time for it to come out. No use pushing it or forcing it cos you will end up making a blunder out of it.

I know of one who did. Dood, coloured hair and a new hairstyle does jack crap if you can't talk the talk or walk the walk. You gotta live what you look my dear fren. The outside enhancements are the confidence boosters and 'feel good' potions and elixirs. Tis the inside, the engine that drives you and the element that expels the charismatic aura.

Upkeep of your image my fren. What happened to your hair? Your new look resolution? You had the confidence there! But your true inner self swallowed it up and spat it out looking horrible and bad. And now you've sunken back to your old ways of being the reclusive hermit.

Not that tis bad. But when you wonder why other people can talk to people and you can't...that's the magic behind it my fren. There's I spoon-fed it to you on a platter. Nice spoon too. And my hand that fed you you bit. Sighs...

Oh well, what can I say? Only time will tell.

One can't rush or one's destiny will end prematurely. A phrase I learnt from the movie Stormriders.

- now listening to "Today Is My Birthday" by Berryz Koubou -

Birthdays and new years. A fresh new beginning or a new phase.

Well, speaking of new, new years day of 2007 was okay I guess. Fireworks and a live performance by Rash Monoo (hope tis spelled right) aside, it was okay. A holiday inevitable but tis okay except for 1 thing though.

Well, not exactly happening on the actual new years day but during the later day where the vibe is still there. Two hearts become one. Nuff said. >D

Fast forward, Chinese New Year was interesting. Abundance in CNY funds has allowed me the possession of a new cellphone, a good upgrade from me old Nokia 8210. I now have the Motorazr V3i. Woo pee. Tis not much if compared to its more hi-tech Sony Ericsson or user-friendly Nokia but tis still a beautiful up from an 8210. So I am much satisfied. X3

And well, 2 month anniversary. The journey so far has had quite a few turns here and there. Many things to learn and many things to get used to.

So many factors and parties coming into play, well, on her side neways. I seem to not have much pressure on my side. =P

Tis so nice to float in a realm where there's just two souls. A private time and moment where no1 beyond the borders of our world can interfere. Just the two of us. Sighs...

I love moments like those. Just the two of us. No one else. No middle meddlings. A place where the both of us can be ourselves, true to ourselves. The way we were that drew us both together, that raw pure energy and essence that bound us together in the first place.

But oh well, I guess tis all part of the game. You gotta play by the rules I guess.

But there's this beauty when we're both alone together. A silent knowledge of connection and contentment and fulfillment.

When I see her smile, her happiness...when we both talk bout things together, joking with each other. A beauty indeed...

Oh well. I won't say anymore. There's much work to be done to reach such a state. A lot of patience and give and take. Quarrels and fights and making up. Understanding and sacrifices. I'm still walking the path. I pray everyday for our happiness and I hope as well for all of you out there. =)

Well, neways, my entry ends here. May all be happy always. =)