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- now listening to "Ohiru No Kyuukei no Jikan" by Berryz Koubou -

Tis now nearing 2 am in the morning. U hu hu hu...

Ok...I'm currently hooked to this word. "U hu hu hu".

A new way to laugh, taught to me by someone from me forum. >_>"

Neways, life I feel as of late has turned rather monotonous, scripted, ordered...routine even. Tis been this flat line of events.

Well, of cos save for the occasional ups and downs here and there and most perhaps almost everywhere. More downs though, what with me dad being highly volatile as of late. >_>"

- now listening to "Seishun Amigo" by Yamashita Tomohisa and Kazuya Kamenashi and "Captain Nemo" by Sarah Brightman -

Currently I've been having heavy assignments on my hands. The commencement of the final project has started and I've got so much to do.

I've questioned myself though whether am I doing the right thing. Cos I seem to be groaning and moaning more than I enjoy doing what I'm doing. Hmmm...

I dunno, it jes doesn't have that zing. That thing that keeps the ideas a-coming. Then again, maybe tis jes cos I'm slugging around like an over-used slave of the industry. >_>"

But oh well, got workload to cope with. And yet lacking the motivation and drive. That's bad combo no?

Oh well, on the brighter side, me and the wife and kids are doing fine. XD

Ha ha ha. Well, my hopefully-to-be wife and want-to-adopt kids.

Everyday, the more I see em the more the heart gets melted and me gut having this fuzzy feeling. Lol. XD

- now listening to "Ai No Tane" by Morning Musume -

Me bro currently is playing FF12. The game looks good, with its new concept of combining many elements from previous FF's. And the design, my gawd the design. Pure visual pleasure.

I've yet to start on Okami too. Another example of beautiful and pleasing eye candy. The visuals are just beautiful and it's a game brimming with Japanese traditional culture. The visuals, the elements...and the MUSIC! GAWD THE MUSIC!

Such spleandour pleasures for the ears. I can just relax listening to the beautiful sounds.

I've yet to embark on the beautiful journey. DoTA as of the current moment has dominated my mind, heart and soul. Tis like this one creature that consumes me. A game per day makes the doctor go away for me. Lol.

Chatting as normal, discussions for the well being of the forum going ok.

Tis amazing being in a forum going dynamic for the moment. So many kinds of people, so many kinds of personas, so many kinds of things going on beyond your current horizons. Tis like a collective of personalities, waiting to be tapped and to educate on so many types of cultures and beliefs and practices and what-not.

- now listening to "Shiroi Tokyo" by ZYX -

Tis amazing to see how people can be united and diplomatic when all have one destination and one way to go.

Although some seem to go overboard and some have neither a drop nor a shred of clue of their very actions.

You know tis like you walk down this corridor filled with people and everyone's staring daggers at you so intensely you'd think you're gushing blood all over. But these kinda people as mentioned above, they are oblivious to those kind of daggers. Tis amazing really considering how old they are.

Then of course you've got the wild, and the uberly crappy (crappy being funny) and uberly genki. So much energy contained in youth.

And tis amazing to see how open and yet closed sum mindsets are. Open on some points and closed on others.

- now listening to “Last Christmas” by Beatles and “Falling Angel” by Chris Phillips -

To dwell within a fantasy. And to fall down that Rabbit Hole so so deeply. To go so deep you can't even see the light from the top where you came in.

Why is it that I fall into a fantasy? Why is it that I want to dance on the fields of flowers coloured on a fantasy book? Why is it that I want to lie cuddled in the floating cradle in space?

Why is it that I dwell within the unreal...and yet want to stay there?

I do have a strong grasp of reality, so strong it hurts just holding it. Maybe perhaps that's the reason why. Reality hurts for reality is truth, what it is and what you see is what you get...or should I rephrase it? What you don't want to see is nevertheless what you'll get.

Fantasy, a realm of yearn and desires and where all things are possible. The intangible becomes the tangible, the untouchable touchable, the ethereal material and the impossible possible.

A place of happiness, a place only found in the infinite human playground that is the mind.

Sometimes, no wait...most of the time, I've always wondered about those who are deranged / crazy / delusional. What do they see that we don't? What do they feel that we don't? What do they hear that we don't?

What is is that they experience that we are unable to?

It is not real for us but for them, it is as real as pain itself. Sometimes I wonder whether they see not only what their mind projects but also what it is that is truly there but we can't see.

Spirits, divines...all things supernatural and such.

I do wonder sometimes. To lose grasp of the product of all experiences gained from the moment of your birth, I feel the mind reverts to a state of complete innocence once again.

Like a sheet of paper, holy and innocent white, that had been tainted by all things, but now given the chance within its current lifetime to be cleared clean.

The difference though is the hidden experiences gained in that individual. Come to think of it, where does those experiences go to? It can't just disappear into thin air just like that.

- now listening to “Toshi Shitsu Taiki” by Berryz Koubou and “Dakishimenaide” by W -

Ah, one of my favourite songs by one of my favourite groups plays, the song that got stuck in my head thanks to it being featured in the BK DVD Mag 7. -_-”

It feels wabi-sabi when I think about it. If I were to go deranged this part of my memories and experience will be sent off to some part of my brain that is hard to access unless I used extreme strong willpower.

And yet, tis like this small piece of heaven in one corner of me.

“There's a piece of heaven in all of us.”

Has a nice ring to it eh?

But neways, back to the topic. What do this group of individuals see? Do they really see things there that aren't seen by our normal mortal eyes?

I believe I've seen this phenomena portrayed many times in movies and such. There prolly is a shred of truth in it, considering how movies are the products of the human experience.

Well, I’m off to concert myself to sleep with Hello Project 2006 Wonderful Hearts Land concert. Will continue this entry.

- now listening to “Ending Theme” from Niea_7 OST –

Ok, tis now nearing 2 in the afternoon the next day. Lol.

I should have woken up earlier but I stayed up watching HPWHL concert. Man, that concert has gotten me hook.

But it was a memorable performance indeed. Konkon’s and Makoto’s graduation was one that left me in tears.

Life always has this effect on you. What touches you is not the situation or event but the experiences coupled with it. The more memories and experiences you have related to the departing subject, the more you feel it in your heart and soul.

I guess tears are a way for you to heal yourself as you adjust yourself to fill in that gap that was left in you.

Goodbyes I guess are always the hardest and it definitely gets burned into your mind, the amount of burn depending on how deep your relationship with that departing person is.

I think I just had a stroke of déjà vu. Lol.

Neways, a beautiful concert and well done as well. Picture perfect never felt so perfect until this concert.

I grew up with MM’s Konkon and Makoto’s generation. I went through the phases of not knowing who was who to knowing them so well enough they were a part of my life. Sighs…goodbyes will be goodbyes indeed.

To touch someone’s heart is a powerful act indeed. One can indeed change the world just by being connected to its people.

The perks of charisma. To have high charisma is to have the higher upper hand in being able to reach out to people.

I just typed a long commentary of it and posted it up in the forum. Lol. I just had to speak my mind of a beautiful con.

And to see Taka Ai crying, that really got to me. Not just cos I’m a Taka Ai fan but also cos I felt the strong bonds between her and Konkon and Mako. Seeing that bond between the members of the same gen really got to me. I felt the strong ties. It was as though I was a part of that bond, as though I was the one who grew up side by side with them. Mebbe tis just me. I dunno. =P

Hmmm, so far H!P has been quite a big part of me if not DoTA. The human can’t let go of a source of happiness.

A person once said that our true nature is to seek happiness. Tis in our soul. And we want that happiness to last forever since a soul never dies but lasts an eternity.

Currently wondering how to save cash to get two PBs.

- now listening to “Eternal” by F-R-E-U-D –

A PB with BK and C-ute together in it. >_<”

The queen, the princess and the daughters are in there. Nyaaars… T_T

And then there’s the heartmelting Risako solo PB… >_<”

Omg omg omg…hearts a-melting again… X_x

Although I did pay a visit to Kino and I couldn’t find it. Hasn’t arrived yet. T_T

Mebbe I might need to go order it or something… >_>”

When I have the cash that is… =.=”

Oh well.

Neways, my entry ends here for now. Currently the brain works are in the frits. Haven’t been inspired nor have I found anything that allowed the brain juices to be churning out thoughts.

Very unlike of me…I hope I’m not screwed by being dipped into this pool of monotony of life like a frigging teabag with a string. -_-“

Well, may all have happiness and inspirations. =)


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