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- now listening to 'Hyokkori Hyoutanjima' by Morning Musume -

It's now 5.26 am. Once again, I'm back to my nocturnal roots. Lol.

This period of time between this post and the previous has been quite a period of many things. So many things happening.

For one, Maya is hard to handle for me. I still haven't had the right mindset to solve most of the technical problems within. Gah, I'm really starting to miss 2D. >_<”

Aside from that, still on a Hello Project high and prolly will remain that way for a long time to come. XD I just finished collecting a whole bunch of pics and some vids. More vids still in the process of being d/l'ed. Can't wait for the arrival of it. X3

- now listening to 'Complicated' by Avril Lavigne -

And speaking of Hello Project, I'm proud to announce that I'm a proud owner of two official Hello Project merchandise. X3

They are two photobooks (PB for short). One is Takahashi Ai's Wata-ame and the other is Berryz Koubou's Switch On! Concert PB.

These are the pics :

Berry Koubou's PB





Takahashi Ai's PB





And of course, the bombastic price tag. But it's worth it. X3



Also, I’m currently in the process of writing a fanfic featuring Berryz Koubou's captain Saki chan. Still a work in progress so hontoni gomen to the one who's waiting for its arrival. >_<”

I'll try to finish it ASAP.

Well, all in all, life's been pretty so so and normal. Waking up early to send my sis around, catching up with college assignments, trying to complete my Hello Project projects. XD

As I sit and type my sis works hard on her project as well. Hopefully she gets to finish her final project.

- now listening to 'Anata Nashi De Wa Ikite Yukenai' by Berryz Koubou -

I shake my head to this funky beat and what a beat it is.

Lately I feel as though time is running shorter and shorter. I actually have this very theory that the earth is spinning faster and faster, accelerating the time flow that our vessels are chosen to go with.

Well, it is a pretty far fetched idea, but I just feel that the day flies by too fast. Tis like I can never seem to find enough time to really finish doing or completing something. Either that or our time is normal but just taken up by so many other things.

Kind of restricting and definitely imposing on one's time, consuming it. It's quite an ironic thing isn't it? Paradoxical even.

We are beings that are community based. We live in a life where we rely upon each other in a community (except for those who decide to de-attach from such a system). And yet we want our freedom as well, and when one depends and is being depended upon, there will be the problem of time consumption. One will consume another's time and vice versa. And yet we want the freedom and the time to do what we please. But when we do so, we do it at the expense of another's source of time to do what he or she pleases.

It feels like a chain reaction gone extreme when one things of how this act of time consumption spreads out from one source. It's an exponential result. And now we have our society, rarely or barely having ample time for one's self unless he or she manages his or her time to the fullest. Kind of tiring.

Won't it be nice to be within an existence where such a freedom and ample amount of time is there without any use of energy just to maintain it?

- now listening to 'Lay Your Hands' by Simon Webbe -

Time is so precious. It's amazing how it is like a cocoon and we're the little being inside it. Or a jar and we're the tiny fish inside it. It has us within its grasp, we're in a cage that can affect us and we can't even touch or see it but instead only begin to imagine what it is and how it might be shaped like if put in a tangible form. Not a watch that you wear, but its purest form.

Ever wondered how time would actually look like if it were to be given a form and shape? What manner of bizarre existence would it be? It's so powerful because it can determine life and death itself. And perhaps choose to put us on a standstill to either admire us or laugh at how our lives are.

I wonder what it would be like to come into contact with time? Would it be like touching God?

There's a saying by many spiritual people that touching God will make you end up in flames. Our vessel of protein and of God-make is so frail and fragile in comparison to the omnipresence of the Mighty One. Such is His power.

Perhaps that is why fire is so symbolic and powerful in spirituality. The symbol of destruction? Or is it the symbol of life? Because as said above, one gets engulfed in flames when in contact with God. God is life after all since He can give it. Tis like a nuclear reactor I guess. Giving us the ability to operate but within it contains such a force that we can't begin to handle in our mortal forms.

- now listening to 'Martial Law' from Final Fantasy 8 OST -

Thinking of fire somehow brings to my mind a coin. Everything is like a coin. Everything is two sided.

Black and white, day and night, rain or shine, cold and hot.

Even the law of paradox shows how two sided many things can be, both the material and the abstract. What is up with two anyway? What's so nice about two?

Perhaps that is why we humans always seek to be a pair. And as the famous saying goes. Two is a company, three is a crowd. It kinda denotes that two is better than three, for most cases anyways.

Of course three isn't so bad a number. But two seems to be a number used in many situations and seems to be the stabiliser of situations. A balance.

Another phrase came to mind.

'Middle can't live without the two sides' – Eug -

I just realised now how powerful two can be. Without two points there can't be a middle.

- now listening to 'The Magic Will Return' by Lingua Mystica -

The middle path I guess is perhaps the ultimatum point of stability? One can't dwell on one extreme end. The scales will tip and chaos ensues.

Giving and taking somehow now takes on a new meaning as I think about it more. Think of oneself as a scale and you're the very middle point. You have to take some weight from left and give to the other and vice versa. Kind of tiring come to think of it.

No wonder those who choose the middle path have to go through quite a lot. It's so much easier to choose a side than to be neutral.

Suddenly I feel like a United Colonial Space Marines from the Xenomorph universe.

'Whoever wins, we lose' - Aliens vs Predator tag line -

Speaking of space, I've also been involved with Star Wars Republic Commando. Gawd I love that game. The beauty of picture perfect coordination.

Actually, as I ponder I realised that the Commando squad was deadly not because they went by numbers (four isn't exactly a big number). It was the ability to become united and be a bigger thinking being, all parts bound, tied and connected by perfect coordination, teamwork and timing.

It was amazing how 4 different personalities were like one when together. I mean, they are clones but with very different personalities nonetheless. I actually consider them each different individuals than 4 beings of same mind coming from the same parent. It was like clockwork, one being one part of the time teller and another being another. The clock looks like a one piece item but in reality in consisted of many parts all working synonymously and in synch with each other. One wrong offset, one lagging, one going too fast...spells disaster.

There was a theory that a hive mentality for human beings will result in peace. Chaos ensued because we as humans are such invidualistic beings in a community based society. Strange isn't it?

The plethora of thoughts and persona give rise to variety and spice of life. But on the other hand it was also the perfect recipe for chaos and disorder. Paradoxical indeed. We just can't seem to live without the other. We want a 'rainbow-coloured' life and not something bland and monotonous. And yet we want peace in our lives instead of total chaos.

- now listening to 'Secret Base' by ZONE -

It's now 1.26 pm the next day. No, I'm not crazy that I stayed up until then.

I just woke up not long ago after having quite a medley of a dream. Perhaps it was obsession or just the plain fact that I was watching the Special Generation PV the night before, but I dreamt of Momoko chan and I think Miyabi chan, both together as one person. I think there was Yurina as well amidst that person. Strangely though, no Risako. No!!! T^T

Strange it was that there could be this one person that was a blend of so many people. It was like when I was talking to Momoko suddenly the scene shifts and even though I have my eye on her, when she turned around she was suddenly another person.

But it was a beautiful dream. Not because I was with 3 Berryz singers (well, that’s a plus though XD) but because there was this one part in the dream where I was at Momoko’s porch. I looked up and the scene of the night sky together with the porch ceiling somehow touched my heart. I didn’t know why. It was just at that very moment.

I have this theory though that it was because it was a moment of beautiful scenery coupled with the feeling of having someone so special near you to share that moment. It’s one of those wonderful feelings and one of those ‘feel complete’ feelings. It was a beautiful dream indeed. So for those out there with a special someone, I hope you have many such moments. =)

Perhaps I should turn this dream into a fanfic. I do have alotta ideas and just in need of some time to spice it up. XD

Dun mind the rantings of a Hello Project fan. Rofl. XD

Well, anyways, my entry ends here. May all have happiness and those special moments always. Ja ne. =)


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